Ups and downs

At last I have found some inspiration to write here. The last few days have been hard not knowing how I am going to survive financially and feeling overwhelmed and burned out by the program. Exploring my options for getting licensed in Canada can be somewhat scary as I see a long road stretching ahead of me. Today I woke up clear of that turmoil and fear with a new fight to make it through and reach my goal. A new sense of drive and clarity.

I'm now in my second quarter. On March 1st a new group of students will arrive and shortly after that we will write our 2nd quarter exam and become interns. We then will be in the teaching role and be taking on more responsibilitys. I'm really excited for this new challenge and look forward to sharing and consolidating my knowledge with the new students.....

The clinic has become so much easier and I'm signed off on pretty much all of the skills we are required to have and be supervised for the first ten such as pap smears, blood draws, physical exams and new born screens (we have to poke the babies feet and make them bleed, its horrible). I don't have much to measure my Spanish up against. I can ask the same questions over and over again but lack the flow of easy conversation that I wish I had.

I've now been to over 30 births and caught 9 babies. Each one has been such a big lesson and such a blessing. The clinic is really slow right now and its been 9 days since I caught a baby and I'm already starting to miss it.

I've been in the program for four and half months now and already my hands are learning what to do. I won't be leaving here until March 2010 as I need to graduate an 18th month program to be eligible to write the PLEA exam which if I pass will enable me to register as a licenced Midwife in Canada. Leaving here seems like a million years away, I can only imagine how much I will know by then of that time. All of my knowledge is starting to come together and feel like something that I can really feel and touch.....I feel so blessed by the support systems that I have near and far.