Evolution

Change has occurred in the air. Tonight is cold and blustery, I am wrapped in scarves and sweaters against the cold and they feel oh so good. Today is a big day for my class as we begin catching. We have been shadowing the primary care giver the last few weeks learning the ropes of the clinic and getting comfortable with the flow of birth at MLL. Now we are the ones that will be shadowed by our interns and they will be assisting US. In another three weeks we will be flying solo. Many of my class mates are nervous but I’m mostly just excited. So far almost everything has come to me really naturally and feels really right on many different levels. Thats not to say this program stretches and test each and everyone of us to our own limits...

I now actually enjoy drawing blood and am comfortable giving breast exams. We are also able to do pap smears and physical exams. It seems that whenever I begin to find my footing in the clinic another skill is added on. It certainly keeps me on my toes and straining my eyes forward to whatever comes next.

This afternoon Juana , a woman who’s birth I was in the other day came in for her postpartum appointment. She was a walk in client so we had to do her initial which usually takes a few hours while she was in labor. At one point her and her husband asked what kind of pain medication we had. I will never forget the look of shock on her face when I told her we had none. She was 35 but it had been sometime since she had her two others kids who she had birthed in the hospital. I told her that it was very possible and that many women give birth here without pain medication but with lots of assistance and support. When she asked me if I myself had ever given birth I had to say no and felt rather silly about it. Seeing her positively glowing face of joy today was an amazing feeling and her reaction when she saw me was even more heart touching.....