Placenta

Last night I had my first clinical shift (just 3 hours) and was able to examine a placenta. Holding something that I have been reading about and studying for such a long time not to mention something that creates life felt pretty emotional. My moment was interrupted by another student jumping in and I felt a bit shaken. Later at home when I told Jessica I started to cry over my "interrupted" moment and then started to laugh realizing I really must be an MLL Midwife if I get so excited over a placenta and tired and emotional enough that it evokes tears!

Settling in

Writing this from the glow of my computer and candles. Jessica and I are about to spend our second night in the apartment, my first night alone in my own bed and room! We had it set up that our beds would be delivered last night but only one came. This afternoon after school we cleaned the apartment like mad women and started to make the place feel like home. We still don’t have electricity so when it gets dark we spend our evenings strolling the isles of K-Mart eating Taco Time or devouring cereal and warm milk in bed.

Tomorrow is our fourth day of our three week orientation. So much has happened in the past three days I don’t even know where to begin or end. By 9pm my eyes are watering and I am so ready for bed. Tomorrow after a full day of classes I have my first clinical shifts. Its just three hours of following an “intern” (a student that has completed 6 months) and getting a feel of the clinic. I’m looking forward to it.

Classes have been amazing and beyond what I expected. Everybody is so kind and supportive and always checking in and assuring that they will be there every step of the way holding our hands until we are confidant. As the program is excellerated things move fast, really fast. In five and half weeks we will be catching babies. In two and a half we have a long list of things that we must be proficient at and be signed off by the licensed Midwife on duty who overseas the whole clinic.

I know in retrospect I will realize just how much I am absorbing and learning. Right now its all about getting up in the morning, spending all day in class and then rushing around trying to get all the little nitty gritty things taken care of. I’m so thankful that I have Jessica, my partner in crime to make jokes about the “El Pasonian” driving (ITS HORRIBLE) and talk through the moments of panic when we realize how many assignments we have. Were both so happy to be here but also hanging on by our finger nails, trying to stay on top of everything.

El Pasonians

The dust of our arrival has begun to settle and things are working out for Jessica and I. A few days ago I put money down for an apartment of my own, ignoring my instinct. The next day Jessica and I visited the apartment that she had arranged before she came and we decided that it would work for both of us. I lost a little bit of money but in the long run I will save a bunch as we won’t have to buy double of everything! The apartment is currently being fixed up and should be ready for us on Tuesday.









We’ve been stalking craigslist for decent cheap furniture which is not as easy to come by as other cities. We did find a couch we both fell in love with (hide a bed included so if anybody wants to visit we have a place for you now). The only problem was that we couldn’t move it across town. After a bit of brainstorming I suggested we call the manager of our building, Angel, and see if he knew of anybody with a truck and we were in luck!

Yesterday we went to our apartment and met up with Don, the owner of the building and his massive truck. He drove us out to the west side of El Paso where we got our couch. He then took us on a bit of a tour crossing the state line into New Mexico and then drove us along the border where Texas meets Mexico. It was really interesting to hear from him what life on the border is like. Right across the slow muddy river lay another world; shanty towns and poverty. El Paso is certainly not the most pretty place to look at but homes on this side are not made out of scrap metal. Our tour guide explained to us why there was plexiglass set up at intervals. He told us the sometimes the Mexicans would shoot at the American border patrol to just be assholes. Funny, I didn’t see any Mexican border patrols on the other side.....

After dropping off the couch Jessica and I spent some time walking around down town El Paso. It was incredible, shop after shop after shop stacked to the ceilings with cheap discount clothes and shoes, plastic Jesuses, plastic guns, cowboy boots and every other possible cheap discount wallet or pair of knockoff Gucci sunglasses you would ever want.

El Paso is a strange place, straddling two different worlds. Its rough and reminds me of the gathering of debris when several streams or bodies of water meet. Things become caught, colors meld, creating something new and possibly stranger then before.....

Visiting the clinic for the first time

This morning we headed to the school. When we turned onto Magoffin street my heart jumped into my throat and I became so nervous hardly believing that I was here, in El Paso at the school that I have been working so hard to get to for so long. I had to take a second in the car before we walked through the front gate and up the creaky steps. Several men sat on the porch waiting. “Buenos dias” felt good and strange on my lips. Walking through the slamming screen door is a moment I will never forget. A hallway stretched in front of us, the walls covered in posters. To my left was a waiting room filled with about ten or so mammas and babies. To our right one of our soon to be colleagues was doing an initial appointment with a woman. We didn’t get to chat with Kaley, the director of the school, but we did get to walk around, check out the kitchen and upstairs. Its hard to believe that I am going to be living and breathing that place for at least a year and how familiar it is going to be....

Jessica and I are now back at our little home lounging around after a fantastic lunch of fresh tortilla’s, cheap and amazing avocados and really really hot salsa which we ate over frying pans playing the role of plates and using disposable plastic spoons collected throughout our trip....

Arrival in El Paso

So. El Paso, Texas. First impressions? Big, crazy drivers and hot and humid. The rest of our road trip was a stretch for both of us, our zest for the road fading. We found a cheap youth hostel in Denver and crashed out in the heat of the afternoon. I woke up feeling woozy and ending up worshipping the toilet bowl on the old tile floor and later at a gas station. At around 8pm we were fed up and decided to hit the road. Jessica managed to drive for a few hours while I squeezed my eyes shut ignoring the road and praying to keep what water I had in my stomach down. At around 2am we pulled into a truck stop and took a glorious nap on the grass for a few hours. We eventually made it Albuquerque and stopped at a big health food store and stocked up on cheap goods like crazy amounts of apple sauce on sale (the jars will be great for storage later) and mac&cheese for a $1 each. When we pulled up to our car in the parking lot with the shopping cart the guy in the car next to us started laughing asking how the heck we were going to fit it all in my little car. We just laughed and went to work with our magic fingers cramming apple sauce into every possible corner, praying we wouldn’t be hit in the head by it for the last four hours of our drive. When we finally made it to El Paso we checked into a week by week hotel place that ends up being really cheap....

From the road....Downtown Denver

6:53am
I’m writing this from the road. We just crossed the state line in Colorado and are on our way to Denver. We are now in our fifth state and rocking our way to El Paso. We’ve had occasional stops but have pretty much run right through, many bugs have met their demise on our windshield and we have passed every-type of road kill there is (none that we are responsible for). Right now time seems to be standing still. We have been eating pavement for breakfast lunch and dinner since noon yesterday but feel triumphant to have made it this far in such a stint! Our cruise into El Paso should be dreamy and quick.....

Later....
Jessica and I are sitting like crazy ragamuffins in bakery in downtown Denver. Crossing our fingers for a hot shower and somewhere flat to rest our aching backs and heads through the heat of the day...

Visiting Kate in the Kootneys

Tomorrow I head to the boarder and onwards to my new home. Its strange thought, leaving B.C, especially having spent a few days with Kate here in the Kootneys. The wilderness, the green, the tree’s and picking carrots from the garden all feel so right, I feel so at home. I know now for sure that I don’t belong in the city, that I conform to it too much and feel so much better when I’m rolling in the mud. The transformation that I have seen in Kate after her spending these past weeks living on Hollow Frog Farm is truly amazing. She has taken on a such a lightness of spirits, of freedom
and breaking away from the structure that has been ruling her life these last years. I am so thankful that we’ve had this time together. As she put it so eloquently this afternoon while we were lounging on the river bed in the wetlands “we are just being” and what a fantastic thing that is....

Before I left the city Emma and I went swimming down at Wreck beach. I swam way out and was struck with what surrounded me. I began crying feeling as though I had forgotten how to appreciate the beauty around me. I also recognized the strain that working in the DTES has done to me. When I realized that I would be able to come back to B.C and appreciate it in a whole new capacity which will be facilitated as a midwife my spirits soared. A seal appeared shortly after watching me with its big, oily eyes breathing heavily as the rain fell down around us. Its been good to reconnect with the spirit behind what I have been working so hard for.

Kate is making salad dressing as a write. The sky is blue marked by the towering dark tree’s surrounding this cozy home in the forest. Tomorrow I hit the road and just keep going. I’m attempting to capture this moment, this feeling of serene grounded freedom before I begin speeding transcontinental.....

SusanSavageRumbaKukaluLucka

I’m writing this from a little cabin on Hollow Frog Farm near Nelson, B.C with Kate by my side. My trip to El Paso (the long way around) has begun. Mom and I drove up to Vernon on Monday which made leaving Vancouver easier and gave us a chance to hang out and name my GPS with the fantastic name of Susan Savage Rumba KukaluLucka.....

Attempting to fit my life into a car....


Saying goodbye to Greg and Tikka...




Susan on the road....